I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
is that a dick in a sweater?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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