Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
