I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
