i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
