I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
