And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize