I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
