The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My dick has a subreddit
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
