I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
