My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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