there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
