We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
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I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize