Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
