I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
