It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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