Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
