i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
