porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
