So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I look better un-naked...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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