Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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