i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize