Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize