No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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