then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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