Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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