Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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