i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My penis needs a shock collar
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
