D3 body, D1 cock
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Randomize
