you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
