These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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