wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize