I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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