I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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