Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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