on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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