you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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