Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
