used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize