Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
