we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Randomize
