i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He kissed a someone with a penis
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
