what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
