I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
