Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
