she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
foreskin is a definite game changer
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
