He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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