My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
