they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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