Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?

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(662): View more from Mississippi

When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.

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(419): View more from Ohio

this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.

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(907): View more from Alaska

It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.

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(760): View more from California

all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar

(1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

To be fair I was thirsty

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.

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