Moan for me like Helen Keller
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
this beer tastes like vomit already
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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