I love black thongs
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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