oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
