The maid of honor just puked.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Randomize