I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize