ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
