it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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