Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Are we still banned from the library?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
