oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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