It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
And then he peed in my hair
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