I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
