420 ftw
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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