Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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