do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
