im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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