i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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