I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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