Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
