I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
a search helicopter?!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
